Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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