Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  everyone is single if you try hard enough

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  (954): everyone is single if you try hard enough http://tfl.nu/81g9
  Replies (42) Good night (5280) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.

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  (972): So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office. http://tfl.nu/rm9r
  Replies (45) Good night (1457) Bad night (5778)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.

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  (310): Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready. http://tfl.nu/0n0r
  Replies (16) Good night (7004) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.

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  (215): i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system. http://tfl.nu/14j2
  Replies (16) Good night (1146) Bad night (3988)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!

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  (931): On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse! http://tfl.nu/2usg
  Replies (2) Good night (2007) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket

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  (703): I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket http://tfl.nu/mrk6
  Replies (11) Good night (1367) Bad night (3022)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face

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  (814): I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame. (724): When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face http://tfl.nu/6r6m
  Replies (8) Good night (2643) Bad night (917)
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  (585): View more from New York

  if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.

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  (585): if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes. http://tfl.nu/m1eq
  Replies (8) Good night (2125) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.

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  (603): I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin. http://tfl.nu/m6dy
  Replies (3) Good night (874) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  they sound like some classy girls.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.

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  (630): they sound like some classy girls. (1-630): Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting. http://tfl.nu/azgf
  Replies (4) Good night (1942) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.

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  (913): My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one. http://tfl.nu/ad80
  Replies (9) Good night (1071) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over

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  (503): drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over http://tfl.nu/dlzy
  Replies (9) Good night (1303) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.

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  (773): who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this. http://tfl.nu/j8g2
  Replies (1) Good night (471) Bad night (189)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented

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  (386): idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented http://tfl.nu/pmym
  Replies (7) Good night (240) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises

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  (708): Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises http://tfl.nu/4oct
  Replies (1) Good night (525) Bad night (175)

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