yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
