I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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