Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
