What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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