I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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