i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
