There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
