That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
