im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize