At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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