Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
