problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
