I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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