So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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