none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize