That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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