you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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