omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
