I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
