I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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