i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
