If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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