Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
