it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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