this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
