My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
