Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
