oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
