That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i now understand why vodka
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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