i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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