I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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