its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
