areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
