If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
