Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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