I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Enjoy the penises
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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