walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
