guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Slut skills are useful in every country.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You are a genius and a whore.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
