Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
