I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
