the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
