if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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