All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
high people should be assigned attendants
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
