sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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