I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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