I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize