SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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