I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
