the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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