He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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