She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
