I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
