Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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