God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize