I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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