Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
