I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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