Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
