Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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