I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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