the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
