i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
