Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
